this BEAUTIFUL mess

Making it work

2009-04-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

Today (April 5), Carlo and I celebrate four and a half years together. And up until this day, we're still in awe at how far we've come as a couple.

I apologize if I make this a big deal but to those who are not familiar with our story, we are in a long-distance relationship. Our journey hasn't been easy, that much I admit. There have been numerous times where the distance can be a bitch, but we're both committed to make this work - to keep the fire burning. We've learned to tolerate each other's shortcomings and we've come to appreciate even the little things we do for each other. Each day, there's a new reason for me to love him more. And I don't think that's gonna fade away anytime soon

He'll be in Manila until the end of the month. It may be short a time for us but then we have the rest of our lives together. One day at a time.

Good things do come to those who are resilient, and they happen to those who wait. I love you.

say what you mean, mean what you say

2009-03-01T19:28:00.002+08:00

Irony: incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.
American Heritage Dictionary

I just find it ironic that the supposed 'x-factor' that got me my current job is the very reason why I get into awkward discussions with my bosses.

kontrapello

2009-02-22T22:29:00.002+08:00

I posted a different angry little girls comic in my multiply, but this one really made me laugh out loud, as in.

Kudos to Lela Lee for giving carinyo brutal girls like me a space in this world. :)

25 random things

2009-02-14T23:29:00.004+08:00

.... Because I was tagged by Lizette Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. IF I TAGGED YOU IT'S BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU.

I have OC (obsessive-compulsive) tendencies - my friends can attest that i tend to be very particular on how somethings are
I thrive on challenges. It gives me an adrenaline rush
I have acquired the art of haggling/bargaining from my mother, whom i deem as the haggle queen
I love cheap thrills. I once asked my sister to get me an Untangler for my 19th bday
It takes little to make me happy. Right baby?
I seldom go out; Lately, I've been more of a homebody
I get extremely moody, once a month (haha!)
If you could spell my name in another term, it'd be kuripot
I love wearing heels but curse them when I have to stand or walk for a looooong time
In contrast to # 8, I tend to be an impulsive shopper, like (most?) people
I'm a competitive person, though it rarely shows
I get a kick out of intellectual and/or whimsical conversations
I love the company I keep: my friends, family and especially my boyfriend
I love to eat though my culinary skills have yet to be established
I have baby-fine hair and wish it had more fluff
I am a late-bloomer - though I discovered boys quite early, I had my first boyfriend at 22, but it was all worth the wait.
On a bad day, I tend to be very sarcastic and criticize everything I see.
One of my peeves is seeing couples, with the guy carrying the girl's (small/medium/large) purse; purses are made in such a way that females wouldn't have a hard time carrying them. besides, guys look awkward sporting those purses.
I enjoy my independence but I also value the level of dependency I have with my loved ones.
Most often than not, the only Tagalog movies I watch are those of Aga Muhlach's. Recently though, I have been exposed to other movies like One More Chance (gotta love Popoy & Basia)
I feel very comfortable sleeping on my belly. I don't know why
My college friends predicted that I'll be the first to get married - if only we'd made a bet on it, they'd lose. Haha!
Somehow, some way I hit the 'high' notes on videoke - hindi pa ako lasing nyan!
My sister and I shared a room together for (almost) 25 years. Now that we have our own rooms, I miss the times we have a small powow/chat before going to sleep
I would really like to pursue a career in PR and/or Consultancy/Training, but I dont know where and how to begin.

i'm baaaack!!!

2009-02-03T20:33:00.003+08:00

Hello world, I'm still alive! Pardon the inactive state of this blog - haven't had much 'energy' to update. A LOT has happened since the last post, and if you would allow me, here's a little rundown of the things that happened:

Kuya Den and Ate Grace left for San Francisco (they're expecting baby Travis in a few month's time - April to be exact)
Finally moved to our new house (same area with FRIENDLIER neighbors :p)
Was promoted to a different group (no pay increase though)
Celebrated my 26th birthday (Sept 2) at work - as usual
I have already moved on to a new company last December, still in the banking industry (higher pay, wheeee!!!)
4 years of bliss with Carlo (and still counting) :)
Annual Roxas reunion at Subic (bonding with Dad's side of the family)

Despite the global financial crisis, I'm still optimistic that there will be many blessings that will come my way :)

workhorse...

2008-02-06T22:19:00.000+08:00

I think I may have to retract my statement on the last post - the part where I will start looking for other career opportunities. God must have heard my plea that He has connived with the Bank to give me my own team and new responsibilities (and the increase I am hoping for! -hint, hint)

However, I wasn't too detailed about my plea since I will be holding office both in Makati and Ortigas. Winner diba?

I'm still in the process of absorbing every thing that has happened and will see how things will go from here.

hey, i'm back!

2008-01-01T04:07:00.000+08:00

I noticed that my last blog entry was June 2007. That only means one of 2 things: (1) I have been busy since then or (2) I've been too lazy to write anything. To be perfectly honest, it's a little of both. :D

So what have I been doing sine then? Well, I've been pretty much a workaholic since I got back from my US trip last July. I recently got promoted in the company I work for. Despite the prestige it brings, I admit to being quite unhappy as to where I stand at work. I feel that it's as if there's no more room there for me to grow professionally; that I've somehow got stuck in a rut. Most especially now that the promotion entailed change in work location from Ortigas to Makati-Magallanes. The move seems detrimental as this means additional commute expenses. So much for trying to earn more. Ever the optimist, I'm just trying to weigh how things will go from there but I do think a lot about looking for other career opportunities. Must. get. out

I'm just making the most of the holiday mini-break. Been catching up on sleep, meeting with relatives and lounging round like a bum. Nakakamiss nga minsan ang walang ginagawa.

PS. I do hope that I can write al least 1 post a month. :P Sana mafollow-through kahit paano

still alive

2007-06-23T07:38:00.000+08:00

Forgive the semi-hiatus from blogging. I've been swamped with work the past month, especially now that my senior is on maternity leave. I literally became a border at my own house. :D

I admit that there were certain issues at work that made me reevaluate possible career options outside. The idealist that I am, I've always imagined to be part of an organization with an "open-door" policy - that you are allowed to speak your mind. But, as always, there's always "conflicting parties" that hinder your growth in the company. I don't want to become one of them.

Bahala na si batman kung hanggang saan ko na ito makakaya

LSS

2007-04-18T21:28:00.000+08:00

This is a cute, sassy song - para sa mga nagbubulag-bulagan :P haha

Enjoy!

When Did You Fall - Chris Rice

You’re all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile, and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at its joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

Chorus
When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right here before my eyes
You’re my beautiful surprise

Chorus

Was it at the coffee shop?
Or that morning at the bus stop
When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand
Or the time we built the snowman
The day at the beach, sandy and warm
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm
I never saw the signs
Now we’ve got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me
I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free - :D

on AI season 6

2007-04-01T15:47:00.000+08:00

I got hooked with the well-known primetime program since the last season - with Soul Patrol Taylor Hicks winning over the beautiful Katharine McPhee. I've been watching it quite religiously since the top 12 was established and I noticed that the contestants are a much eclectic bunch than the last one. At Season 5, I was wowed with the vocal ranges of Chris Daughtry, Elliot Yamin, Paris Bennett, Lisa Tucker, Taylor Hicks and of course my fave, Katharine. With Season 6, the standouts are Lakisha Jones, Melinda Doolittle, and Jordin Sparks.

I have one question though: When will Sanjaya Malakar's 15 minutes of fame end?

hello, goodbye

2007-03-04T15:19:00.000+08:00

i've been on a writing/blogging hiatus for a pretty long time. what can i say? i've been busy with work (yeah, workaholic), but for the most part, i seem to have lost that drive to write....

... until now.

a lot has happened since the last blog entry: (1) Carlo's here for a vacation; and (2) Ann, a work colleague resigned.

The past month has been a blur of events and a rollercoaster of emotions, bordering on bittersweet. Sometimes, when you're having too much fun, you forget the inevitable "goodbye" - the one thing i don't like doing. But hey, it'll always be a part of life. So after the fun-filled past months comes the sad truth: that things come to an end (albeit temporarily).

I will surely miss Carlo, and Ann but i know we'll see each other soon. =)

on love

2006-10-11T17:58:00.000+08:00

Copied from my boyfriend's blurty account - dated Oct 5, 2003

Pardon the little rant from the previous blog entry. I guess I was just feeling the blues a bit last night. I guess it's the moody person that I am, being someone who could shift from euphoria to blah-ness in just a snap. I do wish I could feel somebody's love, but as I reflect on my life, I realize I keep so much love I could have given to others around me. People tell me I have a beautiful heart, overflowing with so much love to give.

Perhaps it's because of my many fears. I fear rejection. I fear loving only to fail again because of circumstance. You see, circumstance has played cruel jokes on me when it came to my previous relationships. It's just been that everything's been going well and all of a sudden, it's not okay. Before I had my second girlfriend, I suffered a huge trauma from my previous relationship. I feared giving myself to someone, and I feared commitment. My last relationship also left me traumatized, but to a lesser extent. I guess it's because I'm a stronger man now. But definitely, my journey to my faith in God has kept me from suffering pain as intense as before.

So I realized I need to give this love out. But I know I have to be careful of whom to give this love to. And I know He has somebody willing to stand up among a row of people who love me and say, "I can love this guy more than anybody else ever would."

When this would happen, I do not have the answer. Only He has the answers. For now, I pray for the strength to overcome the moments I feel un-loved.

And I say: I LOVE this guy MORE THAN ANYBODY else ever could. :)

sabog entry

2006-09-05T20:52:00.000+08:00

wow, it's been a while since my last entry.

i guess work finally caught up with me - or that i just didn't feel that so-called spark to write anything.

so what have i been doing for the past months? work, mostly but not forgetting to unwind and keeping in touch with pals.

oh, i just turned 24. langya, tumatanda nako. :)

09.03.06 katips

happy 23rd month baby! the distance can be a drag but having you in my life is the best!!!!

vintage cha

2006-03-21T20:36:00.000+08:00

the good old days when things are much simpler :p

pakiusap

2006-02-25T12:13:00.000+08:00

Malamang marami nang nakakaalam kung ano na ang nangyayari sa ating bansa. Lahat ng tao ay may karapatang ipahiwatig ang kanyang nararamdaman. Ang hindi ko lamang maintindihan ay bakit puro RALLY lang ang ginagawa ng mga kapwa kong Pinoy? Anong magandang naidudulot ng isang rally? Hindi na ito tulad ng 1986 EDSA rally; sa sitwasyon ngayon, madaming "ulterior motives" - maraming mga taong nagbabalat-kayo. Madaming kaguluhan, away, at kapag natapos na ang rally, wala man lang nag-iisip maglinis sa kalat. (shempre lumabas ang pagka-OC ng lola)

Lahat tayo gusto ng pagbabago; sawa na tayo sa ganitong pangyayari. Pero hindi ba ang pagbabago ay nagsisimula sa sarili natin mismo? Ang problema kasi, hilig nating sisihin ang kapalpakan natin sa ibang tao at ang mga pagbabago na gusto natin ay yung mga hindi madaling gawin. Para sa mga rallyista: Madaling sabihin na bulok ang sistema natin, na dapat palitan na ang administrasyon. OO, totoo yun. Hindi ako kokontra. Kung yun ang gusto ninyo, bakit hindi kayo makapagbigay ng taong karapat-dapat na tatayo bilang bagong pangulo o administrasyon? Kung hindi ninyo masagot ang katanungang ito, eh di nagsasayang lang kayo ng oras kaka-rally sa kung saang lugar, humihingi ng pagbabago.

Subukan muna nating tignan ang sarili nating dumi bago magpuna ng dumi ng iba. Ito'y simpleng pakiusap lamang.

memoirs of a geisha

2006-01-21T16:00:00.000+08:00

She paints her face to hide her face. Her eyes are deep water.

It is not for Geisha to want. It is not for geisha to feel.

Geisha is an artist of the floating world.

She dances, she sings.

She entertains you, whatever you want.

The rest is shadows, the rest is secret.

2005 yearend survey

2005-12-31T12:05:00.000+08:00

What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
* earning my own keep
* bought Christmas presents for (almost) everybody
* got more responsibilities (but am not complaining!)

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn’t make any last year.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
My officemate Carol.

Did anyone close to you die?
Don’t think so. 2005 was a relatively healthy year for the family.

What countries did you visit?
Singapore

What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
* more patience and understanding
* getting rid of unconscious expectations I have set on people
* more money… hehe

What date(s) from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
* july 7, 2005 carlo’s birthday and our 1st celebration together
* october 5, 2005 one year after that torpe admission :p

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
* having a stable job
* moving on after being rejected by the purple company (media doesn’t like me siguro)

What was your biggest failure?
none

Did you suffer illness or injury?
stress-induced sickness brought by the brief stint in the purple company

What was the best thing you bought?
* work clothes that I love to wear
* preppy shoes & ponchos

Whose behavior merited celebration?
my sister

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
no one comes to mind

Where did most of your money go?
food, books, clothes mostly

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
* July 7
* Sept 2
* Oct 5
* summer
* christmas
* new year

What song(s) will always remind you of 2005?
* switch – will smith
* maling akala – brownman revival
* hung up – madonna
* baby I love your way – mig ayesa
* you’re beautiful – james blunt
* ever after – bonnie bailey
* don’t lie - BEP

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -- happier
ii. thinner or fatter? –- fatter
iii. richer or poorer? –- richer

What do you wish you'd done more?
be more patient

What do you wish you'd done less of?
impulsive shopping

How did you spend Christmas?
The traditional Christmas Eve get-together, complete with program at Thea’s house then off to Subic for part 2 (with dad’s relatives)

How many one-night stands?
none.

What was/were your favorite TV program(s)?
Rockstar: INXS, ETC shows.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
none

What was the best book you read?
* Good in bed, Jennifer Weiner
* Harry Potter 6, of course :p

What was your greatest musical discovery?
* rediscovering brownman revival
* appreciating U2 courtesy of carlo (thanks baby!)
* 80’s music

What did you want and get?
* a stable job

What was your favorite film of this year?
wow, can’t remember any.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
23. Spent the day being interviewed by 3 companies. Dinner at Banana Leaf Curry.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I’m pretty much satisfied with what happened in 2005.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
going back to the preppy look I used to go for in college, but with higher heels.

What kept you sane?
family, friends, and carlo

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jericho Rosales. No joke.

What political issue stirred you the most?
The “hello Garci” controversy

Who did you miss?
My high school and college friends. Most importantly, carlo.

Who was the best new person you met?
Lizette. Kewlness!

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
You don’t always get what you want, but what you deserve. Just be patient, and things will soon go your way.

Did you fall in love in 2005?
yup. For 365 days and counting.

If yes, with who?
My family and carlo

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
-Stuck in a moment, U2

a not-so-bad day

2005-12-16T16:18:00.000+08:00

you're never fully dressed without a smile baby, so flash that winning smile because it will show the world what a wonderful person you are baby. :)

it's amazing how someone says something really small, yet giving such an impact; you hold on to it for the hope and strength it gives you.

thank God for you.

oc talaga ako!

2005-12-10T20:22:00.000+08:00

this was taken a few days after we moved into our new ortigas office.

see how everything seems to be in order? just wait 'till you open my drawers. hehehe.

random meme

2005-11-12T14:54:00.000+08:00

just one of those surveys you answer once in a while....

1. i have perfectionist tendencies (who doesn't?).
2. i thrive on challenges. it gives me an adrenaline rush.
3. i have acquired the art of haggling/bargaining from my mother, whom i deem as the "haggle queen".
4. i love cheap thrills.
5. it takes little to make me happy.
6. i rarely go out; lately, i've been a homebody.
7. im moody, once a month :p
8. if you could spell my name in another term, it'd be kuripot.
9. i love wearing heels but curse them when i have to stand or walk for a looooong time.
10. in line with that, i tend to go for style over comfort. so sue me.
11. i'm a competitive person, though it rarely shows.
12. i get a kick out of intellectual conversations.
13. i love the company i keep: my friends, family and especially my boyfriend.
14. i love to eat though my culinary skills have yet to be established.
15. i wish my hair had more fluff.
16. i'm a very picky person. it took me 22 years to find the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. but then, it was all worth the wait.
17. on a bad day, i tend to be very sarcastic and criticize everything i see.
18. i hate the instance i see couples, with the guy carrying the girl's purse; most especially when it's a small one. duh?! my stand is this: purses are made in such a way that females wouldn't have a hard time carrying them. besides, guys look awkward sporting those purses.
19. i love my independence but i also value the level of dependency i have with my loved ones.
20. my Carlo is the best thing to ever happen to me. hands down.

just curious

2005-11-04T18:53:00.000+08:00

while it is true that friends can become lovers....

but let's say one day the relationship falls apart,

could they really go back to what they were before and be each other's friend?

overdue

2005-10-22T09:10:00.000+08:00

i didn't realize that it has REALLY been a while since i last blogged. not that i'm a blog addict, but i do make it a habit to post once in a while about stuff - mundane and other whatnots.

i'm so out of it that i can't even remember my passwords at some email accounts. (that's when you get whe you auto-log your password then have your pc reformatted)

work has kept me busy lately; and i just seem to have a knack for finding work that can stress one out most of the time. maybe it's because i have been accustomed to a fast-paced environment, given my past job experience. not that i'm complaining, but it honestly tends to test my patience, but on the whole, i'm good. i'm enjoying what i'm doing.

and besides, i still have the weekend to spend time with my carlo, my friends and family. i wouldn't want to compromise that.

everything's peachy. :)

happy fiesta

2005-10-05T08:13:00.000+08:00

october 5, 2004

365 days

despite everything, one thing remains...

we are indeed a fairy tale waiting to happen :) (thanks aj for that line!)

happy anniversary!!!

making a stand

2005-10-01T18:54:00.000+08:00

spent saturday afternoon watching mtv's documentary on aids and safe sex: this is not a commercial (sponsored by stayingalive.org)

and i find myself a bit envious because of the fact that countries like the US, UK, Russia, China, South Africa, Zimbabwe, France, and Brazil are consciously taking a step towards sex education as well as aids consciousness via awareness campaigns.

my country is not spared from that phenomenon, but what are we doing about that?

despite the national financial crisis, and the controversial presidency, we are at a moral crossroad: sex is STILL taboo amongst most Filipinos and the Catholic Church frowns upon it, saying that sexual promiscuity is an act of immorality. yet, despite these threats there are cases of unwanted pregnancy due to inadequate education and a recent survey concluded that 13-19 year old girls engage in sexual activities; it may not be a surprise but what's alarming is that the same age group is not aware of any safe sex precautions. now that isn't cool.

yes, sex maybe taboo, but are we willing to compromise sex education with an impending population boom due to accidental pregnancies?

something has to be done. immediately.

verbally employed

2005-09-28T13:14:00.000+08:00

even if i am assured of that position, and halfway done in settling my pre-employment requirements....

nothing beats seeing that contract offer with my signature in it.

guess i'm still at the job hunting phase.

shameless bragging

2005-09-09T23:49:00.000+08:00

given my current 'bum' phase, these beautiful flowers keep me going everyday.

birthday tidbits

2005-09-02T23:38:00.000+08:00

1. Heard Mass with Mom to start my day right.
2. Two interviews scheduled on the same day; considered for employment by the companies.
3. My darn cold, which has been getting in the way during the interviews.
4. A conversation with my baby in between interviews.
5. Greetings galore from family, relatives, friends, and acquaintances. Benta ang globe, smart, pati friendster!
6. Birthday messages conveying how happy they are for me, and that I deserve the happiness that I’m getting now.
7. Relatives (plus Dad & Kuya Den) being a bit curious as to what the boyfriend has in store for me.
8. In line with that, not having an idea what it is (galing ng baby ko ah, hindi bumigay!).
9. Tep's birthday gift: body shop's moon flower perfume & oil control paper (goodbye, gatsby!).
10. Incidentally, Tep's note which says: I love you (the way Carlo does).
11. Kuya Den & Grace's birthday gift: gimmick night with Acoustic Jive on Saturday - and you give yourself awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
12. Mom & dad's gift: book shopping spree at Powerbooks.
13. Not getting impatient while waiting for the rest of the family to arrive at Greenbelt.
14. Spent part of the waiting period at Powerbooks, highly engrossed in a book by Caroline Tiger: A Guide to LDRs (for those who are geographically challenged). Learned loads, too.
15. Spent the other part listening to different music at Tower records; sound trip over Putomayo's world music shelf, the best musicals compilation, classic and latin jazz, and Brownman Revival.
16. Family dinner at Banana Leaf Curry House in Greenbelt - flashback to the hawker type eateries we pass by in Singapore.
17. Getting to eat the Hongkong style noodles (finally) that I only got to eat once during my stay in Singapore.
18. Kuya Den giving me a ride to the next interview for the day - kinda missed him doing that, too.
19. The feeling of completeness, now that everyone’s physically present.
20. Overwhelmed and thankful with the blessings He has selflessly given me.
21. The first time I celebrated a birthday with a boyfriend, legal and all. Yes, I’m 120% in love and proud of it!
22. Darn! 23 na ako?!?!?!!?!
23. Happy tears upon reading my baby’s letter.

ms. bungisngis

2005-08-19T18:21:00.000+08:00

brenna's sparkling white teeth :D

thank you, iyanla vanzant

2005-08-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

there will come a time in your life when all you can do is love. You have done all you can do, tried all you can try, hurt all you can hurt, given up so many times that love will only be the only way out. that day will surely come. -In the Meantime

that day did come, and it has been a blissful 10 months.

thank you for everything. :) let's save the mushiness for later.

where's cha?

2005-07-28T16:45:00.000+08:00

let the pictures do the talking :)

the matchmaker

2005-07-20T17:40:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEA! :)

You are absolutely the best shopping partner, katelebabad,

shock absorber, & all-around girlalou in my life.

Thank you for always being there and most importantly, for being yourself.

Labshu lola!

Dahil sa'yo, may love life ako ngayon.

jobhunt

2005-07-13T16:10:00.000+08:00

after a two-week hiatus from the corporate world, the job hunt commences.

i started the week with 1 interview - sooner than what i expected. but then things just have their way of unfolding since the next 2 days will be another series of job interviews and exams.

things are definitely looking up, at least in my opinion.

music meme

2005-07-05T17:42:00.000+08:00

Put your playlist on shuffle.
Post lines from the first 25 songs to come up (along with these instructions).
Have people guess the songs and artists in comments to the post.
Post the answers to the ones people guessed correctly.

1. I wanna love you, and treat you right... Let's share the shelter of my single bed
2. Nothing to win.... nothing left to lose... And you give yourself awaaaaaay
3. There can only be you for me... I need you more and more
4. And then you sense a change, nothing feels the same
5. My heart is willing, wont you stay with me... Promise to love me for always
6. It seems the only time I see her near is when i close my eyes...
7. Habang tumatagal, lumalala, laging nagwawala, tumitindi, umiinit, sumasakit ang dibdib.
8. And the wonder of it all, is that you just don't realise how much I love you
9. This is my world.. this is who I am, and I'm not gonna give up myself to make your life better
10. But if truth be told, it is you that holds the key to the question that defines my destiny
11. I need you now like I need you then you always said we'd still be friends someday
12. I cant believe this pain, it's driving me insane
13. Got a letter in the mail today, and I'm glad you're doing fine
14. Your love is better than chocolate better than anything else that I've tried
15. Ikaw ang dahilan ng aking kasiyahan, ikaw ang nagbigay sigla nung ako'y nag-iisa
16. But I'm all, all alone again thinking you will never say that you'll be home again
17. Love comes, love goes, but a certain feeling never lets me be
18. Nakakainis isipin na di ko alam ang gagawin, ngunit walang magagawa di pa kayang aminin
19. And now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the grey
20. And if I should falter would you open your arms out to me, we can make love not war and live at peace with our hearts
21. It's hard to believe I’m okay after all, it’s been a while since you walked away
22. Now I don't wanna see you anymore, don't wanna be the one to play your games
23. Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me all things are gonna happen naturally
24. Suddenly it's not so clear just what I am to you am I friend, am I lover, do we still need each other
25. Just one look and I knew you would make everything clear make all the clouds disappear

carlo: guess this one
It's joy, it's ecstasy, it's truth, it's destiny, and even love is not enough to tell you how you make me feel... there's only one word for this...

happy 9th month my baby!

back to zero

2005-07-02T15:47:00.000+08:00

suffice it to say, i didn't make the final cut.

enough boo-hoo. life goes on.

it feels bad to not make it though. but i guess, like what most people always tell me: "there's something better in store for you".

thank God for my optimism. (edit: which never fails to run out on me)

judgement day

2005-06-24T11:02:00.000+08:00

after three months of training, the culminating activity was the revalida, which happened yesterday.

i did what i could. hope that was taken into consideration.

three months have come and gone. who would've thought i'd make it through the training?

and as i write this, they're deliberating if i get in or not.

*cringe*

i think i have to start looking for another job, just in case.

a call to arms

2005-06-13T18:51:00.000+08:00

Our country may be on the verge of losing its identity.

With the President faced with such controversies, with politicos showing their hidden agendas, and the show business that is the Philippine politics, it is a natural human reaction that the people would lose faith. They wouldn't know who and what to believe anymore; hence their anarchaic inclination - a call for impeachment to the incumbent President. But really, is this the viable solution? Tell me, who would be the fitting replacement?

Let us remember that when GMA held office two years ago, the country was in shambles. Barely recovering from the masa's choice of a President, as well as the economic crisis, GMA already had her hands full with the responsibility of stabilizing the country's economy, gaining the people's trust through her programs (as aptly mentioned in her past SONA's), and encouraging investors that the Philippines is indeed a profitable investment - providing employment opportunities to many. That's asking a lot for somebody who devoted most of her life in politics.

Yes, we still are struggling. We may not be out of the economic crisis, but we manage, for the most part. Despite the depreciating currency, rampant crimes, graft and corruption, and the spiritual controversies, we still hold our ground - rightfully so.

I understand the need to speak one's mind, to protest against such cruelties and illegalities. I respect your ideals, as well as your sentiments.

However, please re-learn the value of patience. A violent reaction towards such does not merit a quantifiable solution. We are all free to speak our mind, but in these cases, freedom of speech is better when accompanied with a logical and practical solution to the problem. As idealistic as it sounds, further elaborate what, in your opinion, should be done in order to be free from this chaos the country found herself in.

It's funny how as a Catholic (majority) nation, we fail to imbibe the value of faith. We have been very materialistic and selfish, looking for personal gains at any given situations. But in these trying times, faith is all you have left. Don't lose the faith.

As the old saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day; neither is the Great Wall of China. There is nothing perfect in this world; Our country still has a long way to go as a nation, but nevertheless, hope prevails.

just because

2005-06-09T21:44:00.000+08:00

..... I was tagged

Things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it to your journal... and then tag 5 friends and ask them to post it to theirs.

1. Conversations with my boyfriend. (o diba? ayaw patalo. :D)
2. Reading
3. Daydream
4. Watching TV/movies
5. Sleeping
6. Catching up with friends
7. Surfing the net
8. Window shopping
9. Blogging
10.Doing nothing at all

What do you do to unwind? :)

yipeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-05-31T20:30:00.000+08:00

guess who's coming over for a visit?

my lovable UWA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sigh*

i feel like a child who got her wish.

compliment

2005-05-23T12:42:00.000+08:00

convo with male officemate (mo):

mo: in what state does your bf live?
me: the land of the showgirls - vegas.
mo: whoa! so he frequents the clubs?
me: he's more of a homebody.... asked him to make friends with one but he doesn't want to. what's the point daw, as he says.
mo: he's quite a catch..... he's a good catch cha.

kilig ka 'noh?

interview

2005-05-16T09:53:00.000+08:00

subjected myself to be interviewed by my carlo. here's a rundown of the questions as well as my answers:

What is the sweetest thing your significant other's done for you?
Tough question, but out of the many things my baby has done for me, the sweetest thing (by far) would be the fact that he loves me for me - the good, the bad and the ugly. And it doesn't get any better than that.

If you were to recommend to me a book, what would it be?
There's this book written by a Jesuit priest (can't remember the title) but it's about leadership and how to make the most of it. i know how you love reading those kinds of books. :)

If you had a chance to meet a historical figure for coffee, who would it be?
My great grandfather, Manuel A. Roxas. I want to know him (other than what the textbooks publish and relatives fondly remember)

What makes the relationship you're in special?
What makes us special is knowing how we can't get enough of each other, how we make each other laugh, how we constantly support each other, and how we take on different roles, other than being each other's significant other. walang iwanan diba?

What's the last song you can't get off your mind?
HYP's Torpe - it brings back the good old pseudo-ligaw days :p

edit: 11:40 am
for you:
1. how do you see life now?
2. what's the greatest advice you've ever gotten/given?
3. if you were to be reincarnated as an animal, what would you be? why?
4. name one best memory (be it childhood, high school, present, etc.)
5. what's the one thing you most want to do/ want right now?

glimpse

2005-05-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

here's what my son will look like :)

he takes after his dad :p

toxic

2005-05-09T08:31:00.000+08:00

my training schedule for this week:

may 9: research lecture (proprietary tool) 9:30-11:30
may 10: research lectures (proprietary tools) 9:30-12:00 & 1:30-2:30
may 11 & 12: research data management (whole day)
may 13: competitive media reviews & practical applications 9:30-4:30

hope i can get through this week still intact :D

bitchy cha

2005-05-04T16:39:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day: oiliness is next to ugliness

i just wish that people, girls in particular, should know how to maintain & control their sebum when camwhoring. that's why Gatsby/J&J/every cosmetic company created OIL CONTROL PAPER!!!!

demmit! she sure does need one - BADLY.

queso

2005-05-02T21:35:00.000+08:00

Like the ticking of the clock
Two hearts beat as one
But I'll never understand the way it's done
(Love Moves) in Mysterious Ways - Julia Fordham

Truth be told, I used to find this song very mushy and highly unlikely to happen to anyone.

Me, around 2000, upon hearing the song: Queso overdrive - help me not to gag.

Then again, I used to be bitter and unusually negative. :)

I remember how the priest stressed during his homily that in order to change someone, you have to love them wholly and unconditionally. He further elaborated: Love is not a fleeting emotion, it is a decision that one makes with an open mind and heart. Society just perceives it as something temporary and fickle. It's amazing how one simple thing, or a person can change you just like that.

I couldn't figure that one out, so, naturally I scoffed at such concept. But somehow, some way, I became a believer (and also a queso person in the process!).

I believe that I'm a better person. Thank you for loving me.

wake-up call

2005-04-29T09:15:00.000+08:00

sad but true.

Tumatanda ka na, ‘tol.

Nasa Friday Magic Madness na yung mga paborito mong kanta. Nakaka-relate ka na sa Classic MTV. Lesbiana na yung kinaaaliwan mong child star dati. Nanay o Tatay na lagi ang role ng crush na crush mong matinee idol noon.

Dati, pag may panot, sisigaw ka agad ng "PENDONG!". Ngayon, pag may sumisigaw nun, ikaw na yung napapraning. Parang botika na ang cabinet mo – may multivitamins, vitamin E, vitamin C, royal jelly, tsaka ginko biloba.

Dati, laging may inuman. Sa inuman, may lechon, sisig, kaldereta, inihaw na liempo, pusit, at kung anu-ano pa. Ngayon, nagkukumpulan na lang kayo ng mga kasama mo sa Starbucks at oorder ng tea.

Wala na ang mga kaibigan mo noon. Ang dating masasayang tawanan ng barkada sa canteen, napalitan na ng walang katapusang pagrereklamo tungkol sa kumpanya ninyo. Wala na ang best friend mo na lagi mong pinupuntahan kapag may problema ka. Ang lagi mo na lang kausap ngayon ay ang kaopisina mong hindi ka sigurado kung binebenta ka sa iba pag nakatalikod ka. Ang hirap nang magtiwala. Mahirap nang makahanap ng totoong kaibigan. Hindi mo kayang pagkatiwalaan ang kasama mo araw-araw sa opisina. Kung sabagay, nagkakilala lang kayo dahil gusto ninyong kumita ng pera at umakyat sa tinatawag nilang "corporate ladder". Anumang pagkakaibigang umusbong galing sa pera at ambisyon ay hindi talaga totoong pagkakaibigan. Pera din at ambisyon ang sisira sa inyong dalawa.

Pera. Pera na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay mo.

Alipin ka na ng Meralco, PLDT, SkyCable, Globe, Smart, at Sun. Alipin ka ng Midnight Madness. Alipin ka ng tollgate sa expressway. Alipin ka ng credit card mo. Alipin ka ng ATM. Alipin ka ng BIR.

Dati-rati masaya ka na sa isang platong instant pancit canton. Ngayon, dapat may kasamang italian chicken ang fettucine alfredo mo. Masaya ka na noon pag nakakapag-ober-da-bakod kayo para makapagswimming. Ngayon, ayaw mong lumangoy kung hindi Boracay o Puerto Galera ang lugar. Dati, sulit na sulit na sa yo ang gin pomelo. Ngayon, pagkatapos ng ilang bote ng red wine, maghahanap ka ng San Mig Light o Vodka Cruiser.

Wala ka nang magawa. Sumasabay ang lifestyle mo sa income mo. Nagtataka ka kung bakit hindi ka pa rin nakakaipon kahit tumataas ang sweldo mo. Yung mga bagay na gusto mong bilhin dati na sinasabi mong hindi mo kailangan, abot-kamay mo na. Pero kahit nasa iyo na ang mga gusto mong bilhin, hindi ka pa rin makuntento.

Saan ka ba papunta?

Tol, gumising ka. Hindi ka nabuhay sa mundong ito para maging isa lang sa mga baterya ng mga machines sa Matrix. Hanapin mo ang dahilan kung bakit nilagay ka rito. Kung ang buhay mo ngayon ay uulit-ulit lang hanggang maging singkwenta anyos ka na, magsisisi ka. Lumingon ka kung paano ka nagsimula, isipin ang mga tao at mga bagay na nagpasaya sa ‘yo. Balikan mo sila.

Ikaw ang nagbago, hindi ang mundo.

in awe

2005-04-27T00:02:00.000+08:00

never thought id really be somebody's princess...
but i am and i find myself thinking what did i do to deserve such

you've been nothing but perfect.

survey... :)

2005-04-24T21:04:00.000+08:00

WOULD U LIKE A GUY IF...

Suplado: i like them up to a certain point :)
Mr. Shades: as long as he knows when to take them off
Bad boy: for play-time lang siya
Masculado: i prefer the chubby ones :)
Guys who give flowers: and chocolates and everything sweet and thoughful. it's the thought that counts
Smiling face: of course!!
Hiphop: not too keen on this type
Guys who ask permission before courting: duh?! mga SMB (style mo bulok)
Has earring/s: okay with me
Long - hair: i USED to like one
Bald : me like! :)
Antipatiko: not so much
Torpe: i refuse to answer this question =)
Computer - games addict: as long as he has a life outside of it
Basketball player: same as computer geek :)
Mr. Count: what's this?!
Mestizo: amen!!!!
Guys who sing well: yes please!!!!
What song do you want him to sing: U2's With or Without you *sigh*
Quiet / tame: panis laway ko dito
Cum laude: as long as he's smart, it's okay
Formal: not really
Friendly: of course!!!
Mr. I have an opinion about anything & everything: as long as he doesn't impose his opinions on me
Motorcyle guy: YEAH!!!! - ducati comes to mind
Rocker: hrrrmmmmm
Skate boarder: nope
Alaskador (prankster): bagay kami nito - though once in a while lang
Flirt:as long as he flirts with me only
Mr. Campus Crush and he doesnt know he is: never wanted this guy
Bigotilyo: okay lang
Painter: artistic is good with me
Galante: shempre
Mr. Love Letter: once in a while i love getting mushy letters

QUESTION: have you found your ideal guy already?
I got more than what I thought I wanted :)

question/realization

2005-04-19T13:35:00.000+08:00

is it possible to not stop falling in love with someone?

i used to think it isn't possible. yeah despite my optimism, there's this bit of pessimism that refused to accept the happily ever after concept. that i am a woman of substance, independent, in control, and would not allow myself to be reduced to such mush.

all that changed when my baby came into my life. to those who know me well, the fact that i call him baby is pretty telling. :D i may be one of the mushiest people ever - it only takes someone to bring out the mushy gushy girly side of me.

hard-earned lesson # 2: being mushy is NOT a weakness.

i love you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much baby! wala ng pakialamanan.

when i saw you in a different light....

2005-04-09T12:21:00.000+08:00

GREAT DAYS AHEAD (8/20/04)

Like most people, there are days that we feel empty and lost and absolutely have no idea how to overcome it. Fortunately somewhere along the way, there will be blessings in disguise.

Thankfully, I've risen above that moody phase (as my brother calls it), because of the inspiring and thoughtful words people gave me....

I've always believed in the power of words... How it can make an impact and take those mood swings away... And when you feel the sincerity within, it makes you forget your problems and smile like crazy...As if nothing happened at all.

But by far the most comforting words anyone has ever said to me was: Relax, my cha.

And just like that, the sun was shining down on me.

Thank you.

bittersweet

2005-04-04T21:21:00.000+08:00

A few years ago, I remember telling my mother that I wouldn't want any other priest or religious official to officiate my wedding except for the Holy Father.

That wouldn't come true now that Pope John Paul II already joined our Father in Heaven.

Karol Wojtyla was indeed a man of God. Despite the traumatic experiences he encountered before he reached 20, he maintained a child-like exuberance and a special gift with people, especially the youth. He made his presence known by travelling around the world, reaching out to the faithful, preaching God's word and in turn, they welcomed him with open arms. He was a living example of a devout Catholic - one who followed the Lord without question, and forgave those who gravely offended him.

Pope John Paul II was such a remarkable man. He lived a full life and served his Creator with utmost humility. He will always be remembered and loved.

Thank you for touching our lives with your presence.

the sweetest thing

2005-03-21T20:14:00.000+08:00

And I will give all the love one could ever give,

because you deserve nothing less.

Once again, I fall in love with you more. So very much more.

love test, etc

2005-03-19T17:15:00.000+08:00

Went here: http://web.tickle.com

Okay, so you're not a die-hard romantic who carelessly tosses around loving words, hopeful promises, and doting acts, but you do a pretty great job of expressing your loving feelings. Couplehood suits you to a T, and you like coming up with new, creative, non-mushy ways of showing your sweetie how you feel. You know very well that there are other ways to show love, respect, and admiration besides all that flowery mumbo-jumbo. Basically, you're passionately romantic without being excessively sentimental — practical, but also sweet and sensitive. Because no matter what, it's very important to you that your partner understands how much you care about him — you love how close you feel to him when you tell and show him what's in your heart.

Amen

work week

2005-03-12T16:07:00.000+08:00

Such an eventful week, but it's something I welcome with open arms.

For a person with simple aspirations, I find myself happily contented with my new job. Career growth and stability already a given. Despite the arithmetic/statistics involved cut: I have to surrender to the fact that Math would always be a part of me - heh!, I am loving every minute. My day starts with training lectures in the morning which sometimes stretch to the whole day and then immersion to my assigned department. What's flattering is that my current supervisor handpicked me to be assigned in her team. So far, I've been exposed to some programs they use, as well as being asked for my inputs regarding some stuff. There's so much energy, and creative ideas are flying all over the place. To those who know me well, I thrive for the fast-paced working environment.

An added plus is that I don't get to work on weekends..... well, except when necessary.

If I may be cocky, I'm definitely right where I belong. :)

define...

2005-03-05T20:04:00.000+08:00

Bliss [blis] n. :

supreme happiness;
heaven, paradise;
utopia;
something wonderful;
CARLO

thank you for 5 months of bliss my baby. :)

happy, sad

2005-02-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

Isn't there an easy way to say goodbye?

So ends my 3 month stint at my first job. I know that I am working my way up the corporate ladder, but then I couldn't help but be a bit sad with the fact that I'd be technically leaving the people who made my work at the spa easier.

The therapists (especially Mommy Sheila and Mommy Elvie), who never failed to make my day a bit brighter with their wacky antics and anecdotes. Ate Jenny, my "PA", who always lends a hand when things get a tad toxic. Mia and her trademark kakulitan as well as kabaklaan episodes. Going home would be different without our kwentos. Bep, with her bulging belly, and her endless teasing every time Carlo, my boyfriend, calls me at work. But what I'd most miss is my sisterly, Happy. Her charming smile, never-ending support, nightly text marathons, and the brotherly kwentos.

Goodbyes are so damn hard.

sound advice

2005-02-18T21:12:00.000+08:00

Hard-earned lesson for today:

Needing someone to make you feel better is NOT a bad thing.

It's comforting and humbling to know that someone would gladly be your shock absorber. That someone would be willing (and even volunteer) to absorb your verbal insults just so you'd feel better. That someone would try everything in his power to take those blues away. And then letting you know that after all the ranting and bitching, seeing you smile simply made his day.

thank you.

v-day

2005-02-14T19:45:00.000+08:00

While most people are preoccupied with their Valentine dates and such....

I was busy talking to my boss, calmly stating my reason for resigning.

My stay at the spa has been a good one. I have been blessed with a healthy working relationship with competent colleagues, and a hands-on supervisor who willingly trained me into being a more efficient worker.

As to why I'm leaving, I've been given a chance to work at a multinational media company, an application that I've been waiting for God knows how long. Believe me, getting an interview schedule was already a plus, but being shortlisted is an indescribable feeling. Opportunity knocks only once.

I will always and forever be thankful to my first job, as it allowed me to grow as a person, and further established my work ethic.

This is only the beginning - a new challenge.

I have to prove myself worthy of my second job.

one day short, but what the heck? :)

2005-02-04T21:42:00.000+08:00

So it's you

I've been waiting for so long

So it's you

Where were you all along?

Very special moments

These will always be with me

We are here

You and I

We belong

happy happy happy happy monthsary baby. :)

random thought

2005-02-02T09:13:00.000+08:00

I met up with my high school friends last Saturday as one of them celebrated her job promotion.

Imagine us celebrating one's job promotion? How very mature..... and unlike us. :p

I guess I'm still a bit shocked over the fact that we weren't those high school girls anymore. That we are living in the "real life" so to speak, learning to get by and making our own rules (most of the time).

It's funny how when you're in your teenage years, you cannot wait to grow up and be your own person. You share an idealistic view on living your life in a certain way, fiercely independent from your parents, and being responsible for your own actions. But when you finally reach that grown up stage, you would find yourself thinking and wishing to be back in those days of living the carefree life, not thinking what the next day would bring. You suddenly long for your parents' guidance and support, and the empathy from others should you commit a mistake.

Maybe people are complicated (in a way) like that. Maybe that's what makes life a journey worth living.

survey says

2005-01-24T21:07:00.000+08:00

20 questions to a better relationship

eXpressive: 7/10
Practical: 7/10
Physical: 3/10
Giver: 3/10

You are a XPIT--Expressive Practical Intellectual Taker. This makes you a Manager.

You are cool, thoughtful and intelligent. Your approach and your sense of humor are under-the-radar, your charm is undeniable. You keep everything under control. You have distinctive vocal mannerisms. You may not have much interest in approaching strangers, but when you do, you are successful.

You will probably end up with someone beautiful, fascinating and off-balance. While your partner may steal the limelight, it's you that keeps things running smoothly and provides stability in your relationship. If you are with someone as contemplative and hard-headed as you, you can have a tough time.

Your greatest asset is that you tackle conflict as it rises -- you don't ignore it and let it brew. If you have a partner that *does* let it brew, it will make you crazy! You can find yourself fighting for two -- trying to anticipate your partner's needs and draw their feelings out -- which is exhausting and, well, not your job.

You would never cheat. You would make an excellent spouse. When your spouse's friends met you, they would think, "Crap, why couldn't I get that one?"

Of the 181927 people who have taken this quiz, 6.2 % are this type.

It's definitely me.... creepy.

for YOU

2005-01-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

Ever loved someone so much you can hardly breathe?

I have.

Loving and being loved back is the most exhilirating feeling. The feeling is always constant, it is never fleeting, and each moment spent with each other are the best times in my day. I always tell him how special he is, and how much I love him, but even those words are not enough justification. If he could only slip into my shoes just to see what I see, and feel what I feel, maybe that would be enough. He made everything in my life more beautiful than it already is. He just has a way of making me feel relaxed, comforted, and very very very much loved.

It took a long time for us to find each other, but the wait was definitely worth it. Good things come to those who wait indeed.

We've been together for a little over three months, but every day still feels like the first day. I guess that's how things are when you finally found the one intended for you - you can never get enough of each other. There's so many things you've to learn about each other, yet there's no need to rush into it. You let things take their own course. Each day is a learning experience, a chance to discover something new about the other. And like any other relationships, we have our bad days too. We get into these discussions but at the end of the day, when all is sorted out, everything's perfect. He's all I ever wanted and more.

It's true though what people say about long distance relationships - it definitely is hard. Even the word hard is an understatement for that matter. Even so, what makes our relationship work is the fierce loyalty and the commitment we have for each other, as he likes to point out. There's this mutual respect and by some unexplainable force, we've somehow managed to master the art of creative scheduling.

I honestly never thought of being involved in such an unconventional relationship, but when you have the found the one who makes your heart turn, there's no way you'd let him go that easy.

Thank you for always being there and allowing me to take good care of you.

You rock my world, baby! :)

the nature of desire

2005-01-12T19:24:00.000+08:00

No one can ever touch on the subject of passion, sex, and love as well as Paulo Coehlo.

His latest novel, Eleven Minutes, manages to expound on this sensitive subject by presenting the diary of a flawed heroine, Maria, who broke away from the norm and found out what profound desire is. Maria's concept of love evolved from something traumatic and frustrating, to one that's sensual, magical, and impossible to capture.

Profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone. The man and woman come into play but what happens before - the attraction that brought them together - is impossible to explain. In this pure state, the man and woman fall in love with life, they live each moment reverently, consciously, always ready for the next blessing.

When people feel like this, they are not in a hurry, they do not precipitate events with unthinking actions. They know that the inevitable will happen, that what is real always finds a way of revealing itself. When the moment comes, they do not hesitate, they do not miss an opportunity, they do not let slip a single moment, because they respect the importance of each second.

Pure poetry, don't you think?

hello blogspot!

2005-01-10T19:58:00.000+08:00

It definitely feels good to be back in writing mode.

I've been blogging for almost a year but I must admit that my old blog suddenly lost its luster, hence the search for a new home.

I just hope that my writing mode is back in full force. :)